It is our job to love and serve our husbands as a wife. As homemakers we are responsible for planning the meals, doing the laundry and other household chores. We joyfully help our husbands in any way that they need us.
But out of everything that you do for you man, what does he need most from you?
Perhaps you think this varies per man. Some men want steak and potatoes on the table when they get home from work others want a salad. Some men want their laundry pressed and folded. Others may want a clean home. Others couldn’t care less about their house being clean but want a kind wife to come home to.
While all of these things may be well and true, we all need to learn what our own husband wants of us, I want to open up your mind to what every husband needs most. And it’s not what you may think.
What your husband needs most is respect.
Everything else is simply icing on the cake. Everything else takes a back seat. Everything else is secondary to this one basic need.
Should you do all those other things? Yes. But if you are leaving out respect than you are not meeting his most basic need.
It should come as no surprise that respect is a man’s biggest need, God commands us to respect our husband above everything else.
Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Earlier in the chapter, wives are commanded to submit to their husband. We cannot submit to a man that we do not respect. Respect is at center.
I know from experience that if I don’t say something with the right attitude or respect my husband will instantly remark on it or do the exact opposite of what I wanted just to drive his point home that it wasn’t respectful. If I say, we are going to go mini golfing today. Without asking him if it was something he wanted to do or without asking his thoughts first he will feel as if I am not respecting him. Even if I don’t mean to come across that way, that is how it feels to him. Because his biggest need as a man is respect.
The way you talk shows your respect. Your attitude behind your words makes a difference in your marriage. This is not something that you will be able to hide. Either you are respecting him or you’re not. Your actions and attitudes will reveal your heart. If your man knows that you aren’t giving him the respect he needs there will be conflict in your marriage.
Just as my biggest need is love. My husband knows what makes me feel loved and what doesn’t. He knows that I need more physical attention than other wives due to my background. He knows that saying something harshly can make me feel unloved and stick with me. He knows that forgetting important dates makes me feel unloved. So he does his best to make me feel loved, just as the Bible commands husbands to do so. Men need to take time to study their wives in order to love them well, the same is true for wives. Study your man to figure out what shows him respect and what doesn’t.
There are so many things that you can do to make your man feel respected. Like me, I’m sure you don’t always mean to come across as disrespectful or not honoring his position in the home. But there are times when maybe you do. He knows that and you are tearing down your home. Whether we are being intentional about it or not we need to make sure we are always showing our man respect.
Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.