Ecclesiastes Study/ Holiness/ Homemaking/ Parenting

To the Mom Who Struggles to Enjoy Her Season

Do you struggle to enjoy the season you are in right now? Does your mundane suck the joy out of you and leave you wondering if you will ever not feel this way again? Or maybe, you long to hold on to your children or babies that you struggle to enjoy the fun that your current season brings with it. You are not alone. Many women struggle. This is a letter of hope for those of us who struggle to enjoy the season we are in.




Do you remember what it’s like to have your first and only child? We all tend to make the same mistake. We are so eager for all of the firsts that we push our little one to learn how to do things much more quickly than we do with our other children. We want them to crawl so we eagerly get on the floor day after day helping them along trying to teach them how it works. We want them to talk so we are drilling new words on a daily basis. We want to start homeschooling so we start preschool at age 3. We are constantly pushing those first borns to do the next thing.

Then we learn our lesson after said child can then climb up onto the desk and launch himself off of it, just barely making it to the couch for a safe landing. Or when he won’t.stop.talking. Then said walker insists that he wants to no longer ride in the stroller because of his new found skill and now you have to walk at a snails pace during your errands because your precious baby can now walk, thanks to yourself.

So baby number two comes along and we no longer push them to learn these new skills at such a quick pace. We usually want them to learn them much more slowly! Right? I know many many moms who say they would love it if baby number 3 or 4 doesn’t walk until they’re passed one because we’ve learned how much more work it is to keep up with them!

We crave the next season in life so badly that we don’t see what’s going on at the moment.

Maybe you’ve said or thought some of these phrases:

I can’t wait till I can date.

We’ll be so happy once we are married.

Real life begins when we start having kids.

Life will be easier when we don’t have any more diapers to change.

Life will be better when they are all sleeping through the night.

Life will be easier when they can be more independent.

Life will be easier when they can help out more around the house.

I will  be happy once we buy a house.

I will be happy when we have a bigger house or car.

I miss the baby days, I don’t want big kids!

I hate the baby stage, I just want them to grow up!

Do you struggle to enjoy the season you are in right now? Does your mundane suck the joy out of you and leave you wondering if you will ever not feel this way again? Or maybe you long to hold on to your children or babies that you struggle to enjoy the fun that your current season brings with it. You are not alone. Many women struggle in their season. This is a letter of hope for those of us who struggle to enjoy the season we are in.



We are all guilty of wishing away our current season.

We all want the next stage in life to happen. The next big life change seems far more exciting than how things are going today. Maybe it’s because we are bored. Or seeking happiness from things that won’t ever give us lasting happiness.

Or maybe you’re like me, and clinging as tightly as you can to your current season or the memories of seasons past that you find it hard to see the joy in your current season. 

I so desperately want more children, more babies to be exact. I am one of those crazy women who love the newborn and baby stage. I’d be the next Michelle Duggar if my body agreed. But, sadly, my body and my doctor don’t agree. So, God closed that door rather abruptly and much to my dismay. Because I wasn’t ready for that decision, I cling to my children’s babyhood and toddlerhood. I love the little years and the preschool age and all the joy that comes all with them (check out this fun post from Melanie if you have preschoolers! I think we can all relate!). Yet, those days are ending for me. Far too quickly. And so I struggle to see the joy in today’s season as I hold on to what is slipping away.

I don’t think I am alone.

I think many of us moms face this challenge every day. This is why there is the phrase, last baby syndrome. We’ve learned how to slow down and savor that time because we’ve learned how fast it slips away. And we have a hard time letting go.

Whether you are waiting for the next big change in life to happen; if you’re stuck in the mundane of messy houses, sleepless nights and diaper blowouts; or if you struggle to let go, it is time to learn to savor the season you are in. 




The next big thing will happen, eventually.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1  

The house won’t always be a mess and  you won’t always be changing diapers. You will sleep again, I promise. It does get easier. Your child will go to the bathroom alone, he will bathe alone and he will not always follow you around the house. You’re sanity will return.

Your kids will grow up. They’ll grow up faster than you’d like. But don’t miss the fun of family bike rides and chapter books by the fire because you long for newborn snuggles again. Don’t spend all your time holding on to the memories and forget to see how much fun it is having big kids who can carry on a logical debate with you.

Savor the season you are in, Mama. 

Take it all in and search for the joy that comes with it. Take more time to snuggle, to laugh and to read. 

Bring your children along side you as you clean up the messy house. 

Tomorrow will come and it will bring with it new things to enjoy. Wait for it while you savor today.

 

 

Your turn! Do you struggle with savoring your season? Do you wish for bigger and better things? Or do you struggling in letting go of times past? Let’s talk in the comments below!

This post may be linked up with any of these blogs.



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24 Comments

  • Reply
    Karen A Del Tatto
    April 4, 2016 at 11:38 am

    I used to be a mentor at Mothers of Preschoolers held at our church. One of the things I would ALWAYS tell them, is to savor every moment, even the sleepless nights and dirty diapers, because it goes by in a flash.

    My daughter has a friend who wished away her first pregnancy, and then wished away her sons first year (is now expecting baby #2 any day and will have almost two under 1!) and wished away that pregnancy. I feel so sad for this young mom because there is sooo much joy she missed out on by rushing everything, and being quite vocal about it.

    I know it seems to be human nature that we are always waiting for the next big thing as you stated, but when you get to my age, the next big thing will be Heaven, and although that will be a glorious day, the Lord placed me on this earth for however many days He deemed to live in the present moment to bring Glory to Him. 🙂

    You have shared much wisdom in this post. 🙂

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 4, 2016 at 7:49 pm

      That is so sad. Our babies were close together, not that close, but closer than most and it can be a difficult season to not wish away because you just want some SLEEP! It really does go by so fast. With each baby we added, the faster it seemed to go.

      We only have so many days, that is so true. Let’s live in the present, I love it! So glad you stopped by Karen!

  • Reply
    Shelly
    April 4, 2016 at 11:47 am

    So true! I have an 8 year gap between number two and number three and I definitely feel I appreciated all the seasons much more after knowing first hand how fast they had past with the first two.

    Shelly||The Queen in Between

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 4, 2016 at 7:50 pm

      I bet you do! That is quite the age gap! I bet you are savoring it all so much more this time!

  • Reply
    Latisha
    April 4, 2016 at 10:52 pm

    Boy, these are words I really needed to hear right now, as I’m in newborn, sleepless nights season. Not an easy time, but a very precious time. Dropping by from Tell it to Me Tuesdays.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 6, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      It is so precious and doesn’t last forever. Soak up that baby!

  • Reply
    Brooke @thevinepress.org
    April 5, 2016 at 8:31 am

    Thank-you for this post. It’s always a good reminder to find joy in whatever circumstances you are in. I watched Inside Out with my kids the other day and they asked why I was crying!! But it reminded me just how fast these little ones grow up and the magic they have at this age. Thanks, again!

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 6, 2016 at 2:34 pm

      We love that movie! It made me teary eyed too to be reminded how quickly they grow. We are ending that chasing the toddler around the house stage, it is so strange!

  • Reply
    Morgan @ Morgan Manages Mommyhood
    April 5, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    LOVE this post. With my first, who is 22 months, I feel like we could.not.wait for the next step – walking, and talking and being “fun”. I just had my second 3 weeks ago and I’m very much savoring where we are right now. I’m completely okay this time around with him staying right where he is.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 6, 2016 at 2:36 pm

      Isn’t funny that once we get there we want to slow them down. We are much wiser with the next ones, lol! Enjoy your little, I saw all his cute pictures-he’s so cute!

  • Reply
    Ruthie Gray
    April 5, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    We are on the same page today with our posts, girl! I ponder this subject a lot. Embracing the journey – capturing the joy. If we keep waiting for the next phase to be happy, we miss out on what’s right in front of us! I’m sorry your body is done bearing children. I grieve with you over this. God is so good to comfort and shepherd us during these hard seasons.

    Thank you for your wise words and the Scriptures shared at the end. Lovely post! Thanks for joining Tuesday Talk again! 🙂

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 6, 2016 at 2:37 pm

      We certainly do miss out on the joy that is right in front of us. It is a struggle but I am trying to enjoy the moment and let go of what’s gone.

  • Reply
    Kathryn Shirey
    April 6, 2016 at 6:38 am

    How often have I done this?! Those hard seasons are difficult to savor, but yet the time flies by all too fast, and then the kids are all grown up and you’ve missed it. Great post!

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 6, 2016 at 2:38 pm

      So so true, I don’t want to have them grow up and feel that regret. I want to be present!

  • Reply
    Mary Geisen
    April 6, 2016 at 9:20 am

    Amen! We can easily spend our lives wishing it away instead of being present in each moment. Thank you for your nice words today. Praying your week has been blessed and continues to be so.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 6, 2016 at 2:38 pm

      Thanks for stopping by and jumping into the conversation!

  • Reply
    Julie @ Logger's Wife
    April 6, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    This is something I struggle with. We only a few weeks away from welcoming baby #2 (probably our last as my body doesn’t want to go through this difficult pregnancy thing again) and I am trying so hard to enjoy the season my 4yr old currently is in. I know the rough patches won’t last forever. Something I really have been trying to do is to find one thing I do enjoy in each season. Enjoy the diapers because at least the mess is contained (unlike potty training). Enjoy the potty training because it’s awesome when they are so proud of themselves. And so on. (visiting from Waiting on…Wednesday)

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 6, 2016 at 2:41 pm

      Aw, I’m sorry to see that your body doesn’t like being pregnant either. Difficult and scary pregnancies are no fun on both physical and emotional levels.Intentionally searching for things to enjoy in your season is a great place to start. They won’t last forever.

  • Reply
    Brenda
    April 8, 2016 at 9:28 am

    ((Anastasia)) I know the feeling. I always wanted four children, but could never carry another one after my third. I hope it’s an encouragement to you, that the Lord did eventually help my heart to catch up with the reality of that. As my boys aged and I got so caught up in their worlds and the busyness that is raising a family…my heart let go of the desire for another. They do grow up so fast. I was always that mama who held on to every stage. I like closure, and I didn’t love seeing my babies grow up. But, grow up they do. My youngest is 14 and my other two are already adults. Crazy, I tell ya. Such a lovely post, Anastasia. Thank you for sharing. ((xoxo))

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 10, 2016 at 2:34 pm

      “my heart to catch up with the reality” yes, yes, yes. This sums up how it feels so well. Thank you for sharing your experience with me, it is encouraging. Maybe someday I will be able to get rid of all the baby clothes and gear that I’m still holding on to!

  • Reply
    Leslie Verner
    April 8, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    I can definitely relate to this! I have two under three and am pregnant with my third, so I certainly struggle with wondering if this season will ever end! Every day is a struggle to remember to be where I am, love who I have with me and thrive, not just survive in this season. So your words hit home for me today. Thanks for sharing!

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 10, 2016 at 2:36 pm

      Sounds like our kids are about the same spacing apart ;). This season will pass much more quickly than you think it will. And your kiddos will be close friends. Ours are so close because of how close in age they are, I wouldn’t trade it for anything! It was tough for such a short time, hang in there. And congrats on a new baby!

  • Reply
    Dawn
    April 13, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    Being content in the season we’re in isn’t always easy but it’s important. I love how you’ve explained it so well in this post. I was reminded of this truth just last week, while on vacation. We were sharing a house with friends. They have two little boys. Sometimes I really miss that stage. But up close, seeing some of their current struggles, I was able to remove my rose colored glasses and remember that there are some really hard things that come with that age. I was more thankful for where I am now as a parent of teens. On the flip side, I think our friends watched us and were thankful for their own little boys. ; ) Every stage has it’s own joys and struggles.
    Thank you for linking with Grace and Truth last week.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 14, 2016 at 2:15 pm

      Oh yes, that is so true. I see teens and I cringe dreading that season. I already know my daughter will be an emotional teenage girl. I hope that once we get there I will have mastered the art of learning to enjoy the season I am in and finding that joy. Thanks for sharing with me!

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