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Not too long ago an article went viral from a wife who reflectively told the story of how she realized one day that all she did was criticize her husband. One day she realized that she was constantly nagging, constantly being critical of his attempts to help her, always telling him how he didn’t do something right. I believe the story came about how one day she asked him to bring home ground beef. That was her request and that was what he brought home. Yet it didn’t please her. He didn’t buy the exact type that she always buys and she ripped right into him.
Have you been there?
You think your husband should know exactly how you do things. That he should remember exactly how to do things the exact way that you do them. That he should do things that you ask of him in a timely manner. And any time that he falls short you are quick to tell him exactly how he has failed you.
This cycle becomes such a habit that is so hard to break free from.
Yet it is so easy to fall into.
I know that I have been and am guilty of this behavior all too often.
My husband is constantly asking me to just give him some grace when he doesn’t get it right.
And that’s what it takes to make me realize that I’ve fallen into the critical wife scenario, again.
A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Proverbs 27:15
Are you struggling in your marriage? Is your home life full of contention that it’s draining the joy out of everyday life?
Do you find yourself critical of everything your husband does?
Sooner or later your husband gets snappy at you for never being satisfied. Soon you both find that you’ve drifting apart.
Friend, we don’t have to choose this path. We don’t have to let circumstances, hardships or anger, or even a critical habit tear apart your marriage and family.
This is what Satan is trying to ultimately achieve. He destroys marriage everyday with scenarios such as these.
But how do we break this cycle?
When God tells us many times in His Word to give thanks in all things we should give some attention to that.
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
The trick to changing your behavior is to become more thankful.
To focus on the good things that your husband does.
To think the best of him.
To believe that he isn’t purposefully trying to disappoint you.
I try to start my days with this mindset.
Here is my trick: During my morning quiet time, I add an extra spot at the bottom of my SOAP, I title this Praise.
I then write down one thing about my husband that I am thankful for. Either from the day before or for what I want to focus on throughout the day.
This simple trick has been a huge help in changing my behavior. Becoming a thankful wife was the key that helped the wife from that viral story change her behavior as well. There is power behind having a thankful spirit and focusing on the good things your man does.
You can change the atmosphere in your home with this one simple trick.
This one trick has the potential to save your marriage if you are struggling today.
If you don’t write out SOAPs, use a post it, a 3×5 card, or text yourself a message that you’ll see many times throughout the day. Pick one thing about your man to be thankful for and think about that throughout the day and praise the Lord about that one thing throughout the day.
If you take daily medications, think of this as an extra medication to take. It is that important. When you’re getting your pills ready, think of one thing to be thankful for about your husband. Soon this behavior will become a habit and you’ll find that you are doing it without thinking.
Because let’s face it, not every day is going to be a bucket of sunshine, some mornings your man will do something that offends you and you will have a harder time to come up with something. But do it because its best for your overall health. Do it when it is easy and do it especially when it is hard. Because your marriage is worth fighting for.
Your husband will be blessed not only by your desire to change your behavior but also by you putting it into practice each day.
We are heading into Thanksgiving so now is the perfect time to start making this one daily trick a daily habit!
Your turn! Do you struggle with falling into the critical wife syndrome? I would love to pray for you and walk this journey with you as we aim to become more thankful wives.
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