Today we are in week three of our Happily Married book club!
Chapter three is all about the man’s leadership in the home and how our role as the wife plays into his leadership.
Submission. That word that wives can’t seem to get away from. As much as we try to run from it; it’s still there knocking on the door to be let inside.
Following our husband’s lead is one of the most important aspects of being a wife. Because of its importance we should be striving to become better at the job. That’s is why I love to get my hands on any marriage book that I can. Just like art, our expertise is never quite finished. It is always evolving. Always needing to be tweaked. Many layers and techniques that need to be learned and perfected.
The key to letting your husband lead and reaping the blessings of his leadership is to submit your will to his.
Husbands are commanded to love their wives like Christ loves the church and gave himself for it. A good husband leading his family will want to lay down his own life for those he is leading.
But he can’t lead those who are not willing to follow him. The art of submission is a heart issue. We have to willingly follow. We have to willingly give up our rights, dreams and wants for his. It is a matter of the heart. We need to perfect the art of changing our heart.
Art is constantly needing to be practiced. Likewise, submission and a man’s leadership also need to be practiced and learned on a consistent basis. There is beauty in this art.
As men develop Christian leadership skills and learn how to govern and guide their homes with understanding and wisdom, women tend to respond with a greater sense of contentment and security. pg. 33
Isn’t that beautiful?
God has called men to lead. Therefore, He isn’t going let them flounder in it. Men aren’t going to be stuck in the scribbling stage so to speak. God is going to equip them to protect, provide for, and lead women. There may be reason’s why your man isn’t leading or situations where you shouldn’t be following him but, for the most part, we can rest assured knowing that he will do a beautiful job leading.
As the wife, we can make their art of leading more beautiful by perfecting our own art of submission. Their ability to lead well is greatly dependent upon on us.
The Art of Submission
What does grace have to do with submission?
Graciously complying with requests your husband makes that you do not like actually provides the very best opportunities to demonstrate love and cultivate your husband’s desire to lead well. pg. 38-39
Grace is the key to submitting well. Even when we do not agree with our husband’s decisions we need to still give him the grace that he deserves. Learn to be gracious with your words, your reactions, and your body language.
The attitude of submission towards others is a characteristic of humility and obedience to God.
Our pride is going to rear its ugly head and cause us to want our own way.
Without clothing ourselves in humility every single morning, we aren’t going to be able to let our man lead. We will buck up against his authority and decisions day after day after day.
Submit to the Lord First
We can’t follow a man that God has placed over us if we aren’t first submitted to the Lord.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7
If we are resisting the Lord’s will in our lives than we are going to resist our husbands (or any other man in leadership!) leadership.
God is going to reward women for their submission to an imperfect man. You will be blessed with a happy marriage when you are doing things God’s way. Isn’t that what we are in pursuit of?
Learn about God’s Great Love
Do you struggle with anxiety over whether or not your husband is making the right choices? Do you struggle with trusting his ability to lead? Is it hard for you to let go of the control?
How do you get over that anxiety?
The answer is to learn more about God’s great love towards you. This is the way to overcome this fear of submitting to God and our husband. But don’t just stop there, take it to the next step and intentionally find ways that you can actively show love. As we love God and our husband, our fears begin to disappear; and God’s commandments become our greatest jo and delight. (pg. 39)
We will end up reaping such blessing in every area of our life when we are submitting to God and our man. (pg. 39) There is peace in our lives, our marriage and our home when we are practicing the art of submission day in and day out. If we let any of these areas slide we will find ourselves unwilling to submit. This is so critically important in our marriage that we need to keep working at it, keep creating our masterpiece of a beautiful marriage.
Your turn! What area of submission do you struggle with the most? I’d have to say for me it’s the grace and humility. I need to work on dying to self if I’m going to willingly submit. What about you? Let me know in the comments below!
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