Vulnerability is the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of the outcome. It takes a lot of bravery and courage to be vulnerable under any circumstance.
There are times when we need to be vulnerable with our spouse, our friends, coworkers and so on. If we have big goals or dreams that we want to accomplish than it’s going to take a lot of vulnerability to make it happen.
But what happens when we fall? When our face hits the floor in cold, hard defeat, what then?
What we do when we are face down in failure determines our next step, quite possibly our future success.
Everybody who is brave enough to be vulnerable is going to be face down in the arena at some point. We aren’t perfect, we aren’t going to achieve everything we want to and we aren’t all going to have smooth contention free relationships through it all.
How you let those face down moments affect you and how you rise from the falls may be even more important than your vulnerability that got you started. Everyone can muster up some bravery to try something new but can you set your pride aside and dig deeper into your failure, why it happened, how it made you feel and how it can change your life? Or are you just going to run and hide in embarrassment or become bitter and nasty to everyone around you?
What you do and how you react when you are lying face down from failure will determine your next steps in life.
Are you willing to be even more vulnerable and examine your fall?
This is the rising strong process Brene Brown walks you through in her book, Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.
This book was written after her book Daring Greatly, which encourages you to get out there and do big scary things, whether you fall or succeed. (If you’ve never read either, definitely start with Daring Greatly.)
Did you know that most successful people have failed often throughout their career? Many people have had failed business attempts in their rise to the top. People make bad investments all the time. But what sets those successful people apart from the rest of society?
They got up after their fall.
They took some time to learn and analyze why and how they failed.
Brown teaches you through Rising Strong that many times we have to take a deeper, more intimate look at our emotions during that facedown moment in the arena. That moment when you feel that all eyes are on you and judging your every movement. Are you angry? Scared? Embarrassed? Insecure? What emotions are flooding your brain, figure them out and then search out why you feel that way.
When you read Rising Strong, you will be given not only why behind examining your fall but also how to stand up stronger in the end. The reckoning is all about coming to terms with the fall and the emotions that came right along side it. The rumble is act 2, where you wrestle with the emotions until you get to act 3-the revolution. When you come out on the other side-strong and ready to dare greatly once again.
One of the most surprising aspects of this book is that it’s not just for people who need help or encouragement after a business failure but also for everyday people who have struggles in their relationships with other people. If you have a strained relationship with anyone in your family-your parents, sister or grandmother-then this book is for you. If your relationships in your life that cause you anxiety, stress or insecurity this book has your name on it. We can’t fix the crazy people in our lives. But we can face up to the emotions and the failed attempts to reconcile the relationships and focus on fixing ourselves.
How many times have you had an argument with your spouse or they said one thing that stewed in your mind until you blew up? We’ve all been there. What are doing at that very moment? You’re making up stories in your head about what you perceive to be the truth, right? Surely if your husband said you look ‘okay’ in the new dress you bought that means he thinks you look fat but doesn’t want to tell you. So you rehearse that story over and over again in your head until you burst out accusing him of calling you fat. Sound familiar? Brown will teach you how to navigate through these interpersonal relationships, yes, even arguments with a spouse count as a face down in the arena moment.
What’s my favorite part of this book? That I learned how to start believing the best of people. Switching the way I think about people to thinking that they too are simply doing the best that they can at that very moment. It’s a freeing statement when you think about it. We can get ourselves so wrapped up in believing that everyone is out to get us, hurt us or simply not doing their best. But Brown puts out an excellent reason why we shouldn’t be going through life thinking this way. If you want to learn how, grab yourself a copy!
Have you faced a failure in your life that knocked you face down in the arena? How did you get back up?
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