So many couples are tossing their vows out the window when life gets hard. The words, till death due us part, no longer has meaning in our instant gratification society. We think I’ll love you if you make me happy but once you stop making me happy down to divorce court we’ll go.
Have you ever heard of the 7-year itch?
Apparently, it’s the most frequent year that couples divorce.
Either life is too boring and they want something more exciting, or they’ve gone 7 years with just fighting that they call it quits.
The seven-year itch is a psychological term that suggests that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of a marriage. The phrase originated as a name for irritating and contagious skin complaints of a long duration. The phrase has since expanded to indicate cycles of dissatisfaction not only in interpersonal relationships but in any situation such as working a full-time job or buying a house, where a decrease in happiness and satisfaction is often seen over long periods of time.
Everyone warns newlyweds that the first year is the roughest because you’re learning to live with someone and all of their quirks starts surfacing once you’ve tied the knot. I know I was told this. I was told to expect to be annoyed with where he left the toothpaste tube or where he even squeezed the toothpaste tube and lets not even talk about the toilet seat. But that, once you got over all the kinks married life, would be pure bliss.
Yet, even for Christian couples, that is not always the truth.
You are a sinner and your spouse is a sinner.
There are going to be some bumps in the road my friend. The key is to learn to live out your vows during the hard times.
Before the hard times hit, you need to determine that ending your marriage is never going to be an option.
Once you take the option off the table when the hard times roll in – because they will roll in – you will be more focused on fixing the problem than running away from it.
Remove the word divorce from your dialogue, even from your thinking, and it will do your marriage a heap of good.
Determine ahead of time to not to quit.
There is a reason why your vows say in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. It’s so that you know ahead of time what you are signing up for till death parts you. Not one marriage is going to escape both ends of the spectrum. There are going to be good times and there is going to be bad times. The question is are you going to adapt to the world’s way of thinking, tossing it when it doesn’t suit you any longer, or are you going to work things out?
Living Out Your Vows During Hard Times
- Put God in the center of your marriage.
- Focus on yourself, your issues, not your man’s faults. This is where it gets tricky. You want to pick apart your man and all the things he’s doing wrong that are destroying your marriage. But now is not the time. Now is the time to be the best wife you can be. Fight for your marriage. Change your bad habits, learn how to communicate better, work on your walk with God, flirt with your man. You’re in the fight of your life, don’t give up. The easier road to take is blaming your husband but you too are going to have faults to work on.
- Stay positive. Every husband wants a kind wife, someone who is cheerful and happy to have him home. If you’re having money problems, stay positive, don’t bash your man about it. Work together as a team to get through the rough patch. Change the way you respond to your husband, make him happy to be home after a long day of work. Change the atmosphere of your home and you may just save your marriage from ruin while you’re at it.
- Stay connected. During the hard times, it is even more important for you and your man to connect. Now is not the time to stop flirting, dating, talking and texting. You need to work even harder at staying connected because the devil is trying his very best to rip you apart. Intentionally find time to spend with your man.
Have I thought about walking away when it got tough? You bet. Owning your own business puts you into a whole new world in your marriage, your family, your faith, and your finances. It’s never been a walk in the park. But we’ve both stayed. We had our fair share of blowout fights. But we’ve been faithful. We’ve kept true to our vows, despite the world screaming in our ears to take the easy road. I’m not immune to marriage problems and neither are you and once we start admitting that we can start being strategic in figuring how we are going to live out our vows in a world that likes to press the easy escape button.
Friend, you can do this. You can determine to live out your vows, to fight for your marriage, to be a gracious wife even when you want to walk away. Each day you have that choice. Which one will you make today?