Relationships are the source of most of emotional pain. Being hurt by someone close to you is one of the hardest things to recover from. Wounds from betrayal, harsh words spoken and rejection can take place at times when we least experience it.
If you’re like me, you often have these tapes playing on repeat in your mind. You can’t get the words out of your head. The images from the betrayal run rampant between your ears. You’re up all night replaying all the hurt. You can’t get it out.
If you don’t suffer from insomnia, wait until you’ve been hurt and had your heart broken. Wait for those who are your friends tear you apart. Wait for the next argument with your man. Then you’ll see how easy these relationships can break down your sleep cycle. It’s typically at night when these videos go on repeat in our brains.
Much of our discontent is created as we interact and interrelate with on another. p. 72
How do we learn to be content with our relationships? How do we learn to shut off the video? How do we ease the pain?
Looking to Jesus is the key.
We must follow Jesus’ example. He was betrayed. He was beaten. He was mocked. He was rejected.
He dusted the dust off His feet and kept going on in His ministry. On the cross, He asks for forgiveness on their behalf. He loved and prayed for them that hurt Him. I can’t even imagine how hard that prayer on the cross was. I know how hard it is to pray for those who’ve hurt me and none of them nailed me to a physical cross.
Lower your expectations.
Much of our hurt in relationships is due to the fact that we are holding people to a high of a standard. We have our expectations set too high. We expect people not to hurt us when in reality is very likely that they will (even more than once!).
I must be willing to overlook imperfection as Jesus did. p. 75
We have to not only learn to look past other’s faults but also cover them with forgiveness. Until we forgive them in our hearts we will never experience a calm, contented hear. We will be filled anxiety. We will not be able to stop the video from replaying.
Without forgiveness, we are allowing the seed of bitterness to take root in our lives. Those that hurt you don’t deserve the right to have bitterness poison your soul, you are only hurting yourself. Don’t allow them to steal your sleep, your joy or your calm, contented spirit.
I will become a victim of torture-meaning intense inner torment. The root of bitterness will literally eat me alive. I will become walled in a concentration camp of my own making. p.78
Forgiveness is not a feeling but a secret choice of the heart says, Dillow.
The pain from relationships is not something that you can escape. You can’t live in a bubble. If you have friends, kids, a spouse, and family then at some point you are going to be hurt. What will you do when that hurt comes? Will become a bitter mess, playing the hurt over and over again or will you be like Jesus and forgive those who’ve hurt you? The choice is your and it impacts the state of your heart and anxiety level more than you realize. Choose forgiveness, my friend.