Welcome back to our following your husband’s lead series! If you’ve missed any of the posts you can check out part one here and part two here. (Links are also at the bottom of today’s post if you want to keep on reading!)
Last week we discussed how hard it can be to let go of the control at home, when it is our domain, in order to let our man lead the family. We looked at how and why it is so important that he leads the family at home. The next aspect of this idea is how to follow our husband’s lead in the ministry.
Following my husband’s lead in the ministry has definitely not been an easy thing to do. It has been a big learning curve throughout our marriage.
A year after my husband and I got married, he started leading the young adults ministry at our local church. We knew that when we moved back to our local church (we got married while my husband was in his last year of college, four hours away) that soon after we would be taking over this ministry.
What we didn’t plan on was being 30 weeks pregnant when we moved back. Adding a new baby and a new ministry to our marriage was a stressful time but it was about to get even more crazy! I got pregnant with our next baby just 6 months later and had another high risk pregnancy which then lead to a sick newborn. All this was happening within a small time frame, of course.
Tough times, you bet! Looking back it wasn’t any fun and I have no real desire to go back. Back to the newborns, sure! The stress of it all, no thanks!
You see, my hope as a new mama was that I’d have more help from their daddy. But the new daddy had hopes of serving in big dynamic ways in his ministry while working 50 hour work weeks. The two hopes often collided.
Sadly, I can’t say I always followed his lead when it came to ministry. To me, we just weren’t in a season of dynamic serving when I needed hands on help with a needy baby (this lasted 9 months till he was cleared for surgery!) and very active toddler.
After going through this, I learned some things along the way. Something’s I wish I had learned earlier! Life would’ve been much easier, I say!
Perhaps you can relate? Your man is called into the ministry-either full time or heading up a ministry in your church. Maybe he wants to do more to serve the Lord in some way yet you’re holding him back.
Yes, you read that right. You’re holding him back. Maybe you’re having a Jonah moment in your life? Maybe he’s tested the waters and you shoot down every idea he has because life is just too crazy right now, can’t he see that?
Maybe you’re unsure of your own abilities to serve in the way he wants to. Therefore, your own insecurities are holding him back.
Or maybe your husband is a pastor or associate pastor and therefore has a lot of responsibilities in the church that pulls him away from the home more than you’d like. So you’ve become resentful of his ministry and are bitter with him for never being home.
Friends, we all have some area that we can relate to. One time or another. Maybe not always, maybe its once in a blue moon, but we all have one time where we can say, “yes, that’s me at some point in our marriage”.
We aren’t perfect.
We need to recognize that first before we can change our behavior.
Following Your Husband’s Lead in the Ministry
Embrace the call.
We have to remember it’s not about us or what we can or can not do. It’s about God. And bringing Him glory while answering His call in our lives.
We are one flesh with our husband, therefore his calling is your calling. Embrace it. Stop fighting against it.
That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:12
God will equip you with what you need in order to serve Him. He will stretch you and mold you into what He wants you to be. Don’t worry! Rely on the Lord for strength.
Now the God of peace, … Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. Hebrews 13:20-21
Pray for wisdom.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, James 1:5
As mama’s, we have a strong desire for our family to have time together. Parenting is a two person job, we all know this. Your season may be very hectic right now, that’s okay! Work with it.
Your husband may not even recognize how much you feel you need his help at home during a hectic season. Instead of being cross with him, pray for wisdom and talk things out in a way that gets your point across clearly.
Pray for your husband to have wisdom with what he can take on during this busy season.
Maybe you both need to meet in the middle, marriage is a give and take. So set a time to talk.
But first, pray. Then pray together when you talk.
Don’t squash his desire!
I’m sure this is the last thing any of us want to happen. If you fight against his ministry, you could very well be putting out his fire to serve God at all.
One day, you’ll look back and wonder what on earth happened to your serving husband as you head to church alone with the children.
Be very careful to look down the road at how your behavior now will impact your family later.
Together as much as possible.
There is never going to be a perfect time to serve. One busy season ushers in the next, I have learned this. You may need to scale back in some seasons but don’t completely stop serving.
There may be a season where your man will do the majority of the serving and that’s okay too. Find a way to help him be successful during that season.
Don’t let bitterness steal your joy.
Set up boundaries.
Have a specific night of the week that is devoted to family time. Completely uninterrupted time. Turn off the phones, the computers, the TV and connect as a family.
Protect this time, don’t let anything or anyone get in the way. Satan wants to see strong families fall apart, don’t let it happen to you!
Balancing family life with the ministry is a tight rope in the midst of chaos. But God’s work doesn’t take a season off. Keep that in mind. People have to serve to win the lost. Follow your husband’s lead as he decides how to serve.
God will bless you and your family for it!
Miss a post in the series? Catch up here:
Your turn! Are you a wife of a man in the ministry? How have followed his lead? What advice would you add?
This post may be linked up with any of these blogs.