Following Your Husband's Lead/ Helpmeet

Following Your Husband’s Lead

Welcome to our first day in our month long series, following your husband’s lead! Join us here every Friday for the month of August as we discuss areas where we need to follow our man’s lead. I can’t wait to get started!

Join us in our new series, Following Your Husband's Lead! Most every wife struggles with submission at some point in their marriage, come find out how you can follow your husband's lead!

When I was a teenager, many of the girls had an issue with the term submission. Usually in every area of their lives: parents, youth leaders, and even future husbands. They simply did not like to be told what to do. They were so outspoken about it that it became the running joke for many years in our youth group.

Then we had the girls who were the teachers pet, who would submit outwardly in every situation, yet later ditched church because of all the “rules” and “dictators”. They were outwardly submissive at the time but later their true heart was revealed.

There were many of us who fell in the middle of the road, where each situation or person in charge dictated our willingness to submit. I can’t say I’ve always been the most submissive person in the youth group over the years, I certainly had my fair share of hiccups. Which naturally carried through to my marriage.

Submission. The word most women cringe at. It goes against our natural, fleshly desires.

We want to be the boss, to control every situation. We don’t want to be told what to do or what not to do. But as a godly wife we have the God given duty to be submissive to our husbands.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭22

Submitting is Gods design for a heavenly  marriage.

Let’s take a look at what this word means.

Submit-To yield, resign or surrender to the power, will or authority of another.
To be submissive is to yield without murmuring.

God gave our husband’s power over us, to lead us and our families. 

following your husband's lead

A lot of people get mad at christianity over the submission thing and they accuse the Bible of being negative towards women. But they miss the point that sumission in this way is only in the context of marriage and only because the man will be eternally responsible for the decisions made in his home.

I don’t know about you but I’m glad that I don’t have to make all the tough decisions, I’d probably make all the wrong ones! Our men carry a heavy load on their shoulders. 

How can we make that load easier? By being submissive.

How to Follow Your Husband’s Lead 

Submission starts with our attitude.

We have to chose to surrender to our husband’s lead. Our heart has to be in it in order for the chain of command to work properly.

Be Humble.

Being submissive means lowering ourselves by putting our husband’s needs, desires and wishes above our own.

Let him lead without complaining. 

They don’t need us complaining about every decision they make. I’m sure that makes them think twice about their decision. 

Don’t be a difficult wife. If you’re husband doesn’t want to upset you with a decision, he may just make the wrong choice for your family. 

Serve and follow him joyfully.

Be respectful.

 the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭33‬b

How is your attitude? What about your body language?

Our husband’s feel disrespected when we are unkind, rude and sarcastic with them. They are put off by us ignoring them and their wants.

If this is how we are always treating them they will not be encouraged by us to lead. They will stop approaching us and stop trying to lead all together.

Honor him. Reverence and respect his decisions. He’s the man you married, who you fell madly in love with so treat him that way!

Be an encourager!

Be his cheerleader, his biggest fan! Build him up! Smile at him!

When we’re doing this, we are encouraging his ability to lead.

Have your quiet time with the Lord every day!

Submitting your will under another person requires us to be walking in the Spirit.

Read, study, and meditate on God’s Word. You can not walk in the Spirit if you are not filling up on His Word daily.

following your husband's lead


When our husbands are following Christ, we can have peace of mind knowing that they are taking the family in the direction that God is telling him to go.

Like I said, I’ve always fallen into the group of girls that tends to submit basically when I feel like it. Terrible huh? Lol!

I’m a feisty and stubborn person by nature; this is something that I have to continually work in our marriage. Satan tries to trick us into thinking that we know what’s best or to fight for what we want. But we need to be vigilant at fighting this fleshly desire and keep our eyes on Jesus and His plans for our marriage.

Let’s make our husband’s job easier by being a submissive wife!


Looking for the other posts in this series?

Following Your Husband’s Lead at Home

Following Your Husband’s Lead in the Ministry

When to Not Follow Your Husband’s Lead

When Your Husband Isn’t Leading


Your turn! Do you find submission a hard principle to follow in your marriage or does it come fairly naturally to you?


 This post may be linked up with any of these blogs.

You Might Also Like


  • Reply
    August 7, 2015 at 4:34 pm

    This is such an important subject !!! I was alone for many years and had to have an “I can do it myself ” attitude but now that I’m married this attitude has given me trouble. But if I’m to follow God in the way He wants we have to submit (there is that word !!!) to the plan God set up for marriage. Thanks for sharing. Visiting from Counting My Blessings.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      August 7, 2015 at 6:13 pm

      I struggle with the same attitude, Rebecca! I’ve been learning how important it truly is! Have a great day!

  • Reply
    Deb Wolf
    August 7, 2015 at 7:22 pm

    I’ve taught on submission several times. One of the things that has helped me most with submission is the blessing of being married to a man to values my thoughts and opinions. I know he listens to me with love and kindness. I trust him. Both those things make it easier to follow when he leads. That and knowing his faith leads him. I trust the way the Lord works in his life. Great post!

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      August 8, 2015 at 8:39 pm

      Having a godly husband certainly makes following him easier, I agree!

  • Reply
    Renee @Doorkeeper
    August 10, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    Praying God uses your post in the hearts of many! Visiting from the Monday Musing Blog Party. Blessings!

  • Reply
    August 12, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    Submission is such a sticky subject, especially among women, Anastasia. And I’m with you on the “struggle” to submit at times, but know that God wants me to trust Him more by trusting my husband in the here and now. Thanks for the challenge!

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      August 13, 2015 at 1:09 am

      Trusting that God is leading our husbands helps so much. Knowing this helps put submission into perspective.

  • Reply
    Aimee Imbeau
    August 12, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    I have really been enjoying your posts, Ana. And this topic is one of my faves! I wrote a post recently about submission with a bit of a different twist – trying to think of it more from the perspective of our husband’s desire to protect our hearts. A godly man wants the absolute best for his family and he will strive to make the very best decisions he possibly can.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      August 13, 2015 at 1:07 am

      That is such a good point, Aimee! When we are faced with disagreeing with them, it helps to keep this thought in mind.

  • Reply
    August 12, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    Thanks Anastasia, and I agree this is a massive subject. My greatest struggle with submission has been around fear. Before we married I was so scarred that I’d end up with a man who would hold all this power over me but not consider me in the choices he makes. 11 years on I can see that that’s exactly what I got and I will fully admit that I am hopeless at submitting to his leadership – we’re a mess. The hardest part is in looking to our future together; I see years spreading out ahead with us disagreeing on major decisions and every time me loosing out because I am too insignificant to be considered. I wonder if you could write about any of these matters? Thanks for writing about this difficult subject.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      August 13, 2015 at 1:12 am

      I am so sorry you are struggling in your marriage, Charlotte. I hope this series can be a blessing to you. At the end of the series I plan on touching on issues like these, so stay tuned! I will say a prayer for you tonight.

  • Reply
    August 13, 2015 at 12:28 am

    I love the ideas you put forth in this post!!! I really want my readers to know about this too! I want to share this in my weekly series called “Roll Out The Red Carpet Thursday” – I share bloggers’ amazing posts that I’ve found during the week. I hope that’ ok! Have a great night!

  • Reply
    August 17, 2015 at 2:28 pm

    Hi everyone…very new to all this…but as I read all the post I connected so much to this topic. I am a very hard headed woman and am struggling with submission in my marriage. I feel my husband slipping away and I’m starting to understand why..please pray that God will move in me to be the reverent wife my husband desires so we can be the faithful happy family God wants us to be. Thank you for all the wonderful encourament I found here.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      August 18, 2015 at 1:04 am

      Heather, I’m so glad you stopped by, I will pray for you and your marriage. We all have areas we need to grow and have lessons that need to be learned again when we fail. You are not alone. One book I highly recommend on this topic is Debi Pearl’s Created to be His Helpmeet. It will change your marriage, pick up a copy as soon as you can! I hope you’ll follow the series as we all grow in following our husband’s lead.

  • Reply
    August 18, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    Anastasia…thank you for sharing your thoughts on this sensitive topic. I agree that submission to our husband is needed and, most importantly, biblical. Thank you for sharing at Monday’s Musings. Have a blessed week.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      August 19, 2015 at 10:33 pm

      Thank you for the encouragement Naomi and for stopping by!

  • Reply
    Rose @ Walnut Acre
    September 18, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    This is an area of real struggle for me. Having grown up under a very authoritarian father, this tends to trigger some very real fear in me. Yet my husband is so different from my father that I know (in my head) that there’s nothing to fear. Day by day God works in me as I work through these issues.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      September 18, 2015 at 11:12 pm

      It is so hard to not to compare when you’ve grown up in a tough situation. It’s easy to believe the lie that our husband is just like our father. Keep praying and sharing your heart with your husband-those two things have continued to help me. So glad you stopped by today!

  • Reply
    Lynn Mosher
    September 29, 2015 at 6:30 pm

    Oh, yes, Ana! Amen and amen! Such a great exposition on submission! I’m visiting from last week’s #RaRalinkup. Forgive me. I forgot to visit you last week. I’m glad I remembered. Great teaching, Ana! 😀

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      September 30, 2015 at 12:38 pm

      Thanks so much Lynn! Your kind words were a blessing to me this morning! 🙂

  • Reply
    Naomi K.
    January 9, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    I recently heard a quote about submission and I loved it. Sometimes submission is “ducking” so God can hit your husband. 🙂 It’s not exactly very sweet, but it was a good reminder that sometimes we should submit even if he’s wrong, and then it is on his shoulders. And this was a good article, I agreed with everything you said! Thanks for your time doing this blog. 😉

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      January 11, 2016 at 10:11 pm

      I’ve heard that one before! I love that analogy in theory but it is super hard to put into practice! It is definitely an on going process 😉 Thanks for reading and stopping by to comment!

  • Reply
    Barbara Fortin
    July 11, 2016 at 11:33 pm

    Years ago My Love asked me to pray for his co workers. I am disabled so when he asked me I felt honored. That was 10 years ago! He asked me to pray for him again and I repeated what he had said earlier. He was shocked I prayed for him ONE HOUR 5-6 PM OR LATER. Prayer gave him strength with supervisors, co-workers and growths in himself as he progressed up the ladder! Recently we talked of moving on, and I agreed, then pulled out my Journal and scriptures. The Lord had been leading him and I as well in prayer. God is so good! I am learning I CAN TRUST HIS LEAD! after 32yrs-8 months! God is so patiently with us, isn’t He!

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      July 13, 2016 at 3:37 pm

      That is a great story! Thank you for sharing with me! Yes, thankfully, God is so patient with us as we learn to follow and trust our husband’s leading.

    Leave a Reply