Dear Lonely Woman,
I know that you struggle with feelings of being the third wheel, feelings of always going unnoticed, feelings like you can’t quite measure up. No matter how hard you try, you just don’t feel like you fit in with the crowd around you. On the outside you look fine and carefree while inside your loneliness threatens to take over. You leave gatherings, church services and family functions feeling like a 100-pound brick is on your chest. Thoughts of insecurities keep your mind busy. Wondering what if I was this way or that way…then maybe I wouldn’t be struggling with the despair of loneliness. What if I didn’t care as much?
It is hard to be that one woman in the crowd that doesn’t have that special bosom friend, to have one close person in your life to call your best friend. Someone to call, to laugh, to cry, to vent and share your life with at any given moment of the day. No one to share your struggles or successes with. While it looks like everyone around you has that someone, you’re left to remember that you don’t.
I know that it is hard to keep putting yourself out there only to feel the sting of rejection. Only to constantly feel as if you just don’t fit. You see the closeness that these best friends share and you long for that in your own life.
It is a hard road to travel. A road not many people take. Yet a road that many women find themselves in.
Why then are not more lonely women speaking out? Sharing their hearts with others? Comforting and encouraging each other?
My friend, it is a painful struggle. Loneliness takes over and makes us feel like we are worthless, passed over, not good enough and lonely. I get it. I get you. I understand that pain. I struggle like you struggle. And you know what? We aren’t alone. I am sure that if more women were willing to admit it, they feel the same pain.
While I haven’t quite figured out how to escape the harsh feelings of loneliness in my own life, I am comforted knowing that King David once felt that very same sting in his own life. His own father passed him over. When God sent Samuel to anoint the next king, Jesse-David’s father-didn’t even bring David to him. I often wonder how David reacted to this on the inside. I’m sure he probably put on a brave face but what was his heart saying on the inside? Was he lonely out there in pasture day after day, did he feel rejection when his own father passed him over, did he feel like he didn’t quite fit in with his peers when his brothers were angry with him for coming to the battle? I tend to think that just maybe he did.
But did that stop him from doing something amazing with his life? Did he let all of that stop him from becoming a great king? Did he stay stuck in his pit of loneliness throughout his life? No, we don’t see that anywhere in the Bible.
David kept his eyes on the Lord. He sought after the things of God and filled his soul with the truths of God’s Word. When He felt lonely He went to God. When he was afflicted by others he went to God. When he felt happiness he also went to God.
You see, David made the Lord his best friend.
He took his eyes off himself and put them on God.
We can do that too. We can speak truth into our hearts and minds when the loneliness threatens to steal our joy. We can keep putting ourselves out there again and again knowing that the Lord will give us the grace and strength to do it. We can persevere in our prayer closets asking the Lord for that earthly close friend that we can share our lives with. And until He answers that prayer we can know that we aren’t alone. He is always with us.
And I am here for you. Cheering you on, praying for you. And for me. Because we both need it.
Be encouraged that you are not alone.
Your turn! Do you struggle with loneliness in your life? How do you deal with it? How can I pray for you?
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