Holiness

A Letter to the Woman Struggling with Loneliness

I know that you struggle with feelings of being the third wheel, feelings of always going unnoticed, feelings like you can't quite measure up. No matter how hard you try, you just don't feel like you fit in with the crowd around you. On the outside you look fine and carefree while inside your loneliness threatens to take over. If you are struggling with loneliness then this a letter written for you.




Dear Lonely Woman,

I know that you struggle with feelings of being the third wheel, feelings of always going unnoticed, feelings like you can’t quite measure up. No matter how hard you try, you just don’t feel like you fit in with the crowd around you. On the outside you look fine and carefree while inside your loneliness threatens to take over. You leave gatherings, church services and family functions feeling like a 100-pound brick is on your chest. Thoughts of insecurities keep your mind busy. Wondering what if I was this way or that way…then maybe I wouldn’t be struggling with the despair of loneliness. What if I didn’t care as much?

It is hard to be that one woman in the crowd that doesn’t have that special bosom friend, to have one close person in your life to call your best friend. Someone to call, to laugh, to cry, to vent and share your life with at any given moment of the day. No one to share your struggles or successes with. While it looks like everyone around you has that someone, you’re left to remember that you don’t.

I know that it is hard to keep putting yourself out there only to feel the sting of rejection. Only to constantly feel as if you just don’t fit. You see the closeness that these best friends share and you long for that in your own life.

It is a hard road to travel. A road not many people take. Yet a road that many women find themselves in.

Why then are not more lonely women speaking out? Sharing their hearts with others? Comforting and encouraging each other?

My friend, it is a painful struggle. Loneliness takes over and makes us feel like we are worthless, passed over, not good enough and lonely. I get it. I get you. I understand that pain. I struggle like you struggle. And you know what? We aren’t alone. I am sure that if more women were willing to admit it, they feel the same pain.

I know that you struggle with feelings of being the third wheel, feelings of always going unnoticed, feelings like you can't quite measure up. No matter how hard you try, you just don't feel like you fit in with the crowd around you. On the outside you look fine and carefree while inside your loneliness threatens to take over. If you are struggling with loneliness then this a letter written for you.




While I haven’t quite figured out how to escape the harsh feelings of loneliness in my own life, I am comforted knowing that King David once felt that very same sting in his own life. His own father passed him over. When God sent Samuel to anoint the next king, Jesse-David’s father-didn’t even bring David to him. I often wonder how David reacted to this on the inside. I’m sure he probably put on a brave face but what was his heart saying on the inside? Was he lonely out there in pasture day after day, did he feel rejection when his own father passed him over, did he feel like he didn’t quite fit in with his peers when his brothers were angry with him for coming to the battle? I tend to think that just maybe he did.

But did that stop him from doing something amazing with his life? Did he let all of that stop him from becoming  a great king? Did he stay stuck in his pit of loneliness throughout his life? No, we don’t see that anywhere in the Bible.

David kept his eyes on the Lord. He sought after the things of God and filled his soul with the truths of God’s Word. When He felt lonely He went to God. When he was afflicted by others he went to God. When he felt happiness he also went to God.

You see, David made the Lord his best friend.

He took his eyes off himself and put them on God.

We can do that too. We can speak truth into our hearts and minds when the loneliness threatens to steal our joy. We can keep putting ourselves out there again and again knowing that the Lord will give us the grace and strength to do it. We can persevere in our prayer closets asking the Lord for that earthly close friend that we can share our lives with. And until He answers that prayer we can know that we aren’t alone. He is always with us.

And I am here for you. Cheering you on, praying for you. And for me. Because we both need it.

Be encouraged that you are not alone.

With Love,

Ana

 

Your turn! Do you struggle with loneliness in your life? How do you deal with it? How can I pray for you?

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16 Comments

  • Reply
    Melanie Redd
    June 13, 2016 at 10:21 am

    What a sweet letter, Ana!
    Thank you for reminding us of the amazing friend we have in Jesus.
    I’m going to share this post today all around.
    Sure am blessed by you and your ministry!

  • Reply
    Millie
    June 14, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    Thanks for the blessing! I needed to hear and know that I’m not alone. I’m asking for prayers in returning to work in preschool and special education as a senior citizen and a companion in Catholic Church . Thanks for your thoughtful and comforting words! God bless you🙏🏽😇

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      June 19, 2016 at 2:26 pm

      I’m glad to hear I’m not alone as well, Millie. I will say a prayer for you! Preschoolers are so fun, I’m sure you’ll have a blast!

  • Reply
    Megs
    June 15, 2016 at 8:33 am

    “Persevere in our prayer closets…” I love that, and thank you for these words. I feel that way so often …out of place and always around everyone else who seems to be paired up. The obligatory third wheel. But, there is grand purpose in the wheelhouse God blessed upon my life. Love the encouragement and reliability of your words.
    Happy Wednesday, from the Coffee for Your Heart linkup.
    Megs

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      June 19, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      Oh friend, I am so with you. It wasn’t always so but has turned out to be so in the last 4-5 years and it can be heartbreaking at times. Hang in there! Keep on praying! So glad you stopped by!

  • Reply
    kim
    June 16, 2016 at 11:06 am

    Thank you for this! love and miss you.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      June 19, 2016 at 2:37 pm

      You were my person and then you up and left me 😉 Love and miss you too 🙂

  • Reply
    Ifeoma Samuel
    June 17, 2016 at 4:57 am

    Well done friend.
    How have you been?
    Blessings to you

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      June 19, 2016 at 2:38 pm

      Been doing good! Seems that since our move life has been moving at super speed lately! How are you?!

  • Reply
    Christa
    June 17, 2016 at 10:06 am

    Really encouraging words. This is such a struggle for so many of us. I think more than anything else, busyness makes me feel lonely. I just don’t take the time I should to connect with others.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      June 19, 2016 at 2:43 pm

      Ohhh, good point! I didn’t think of that but it’s so true. Since my husband owns and operates his own pharmacy the hours are long and grueling and on church nights, I just want to go home and end the day and not stick around to chat. It’s hard to pull yourself out of the rut and get social.

  • Reply
    Lux G.
    June 18, 2016 at 1:25 am

    Gosh, so beautiful. I just wish you wrote this and I get to read it when I was struggling with loneliness. 😛
    May this bless many. 🙂

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      June 19, 2016 at 2:47 pm

      Thank you for the kind words, Lux. It is an encouragement to me for sure.

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