Relationships can be tricky.
The more friends we have the more relationships we have.
The bigger our family the more relationships we have.
The more relationships we have the more drama we have in our lives.
The more people we let into our lives, the more we are welcoming their crazy behaviors into our lives.
Now we can either let them control us and play the victim or we can choose to embrace them while learning to navigate through some choppy waters some of the time.
We can’t just isolate ourselves, we all need relationships. We need to accept others faults and behavior, set up boundaries and learn to influence them instead of the other way around.
When it comes to the crazy people in our lives, we have to keep these 5 truths about relationships front and center. I picked up these insightful truths from the fantastic book People Can’t Drive You Crazy If You Don’t Give Them The Keys. A must read book if you are pushed too close to the insanity line just from other people’s affect on your emotions.
5 Truths about Relationships
- The people we spend the most time with create the most drama. Isn’t that so true? While the checkout lady scanning your items might be moving too slow for your liking or that person who cut you off on the way to work can cause some instant drama and crazy feelings burning inside of you, it’s usually a fleeting feeling. But if your husband comes home late from work yet again, you might want to waterboard him under the kitchen sink after he sees you throw his food in the trash. It’s the people who are closest to you that cause the most drama and crazy feelings burning inside you. It’s the people you care about the most that often annoy and hurt you the most. Because you love them, you are highly affected by their actions.
- Relationships take work.We live in a culture where throwing in the towel on any relationship is the number one choice. Don’t like your husband? Divorce him. Can’t stand your dad and his crazy political views? Then don’t speak to him. Your kids make you feel insane? Send them to daycare for 10 hours a day. Crazy Aunt Betsy won’t stop nagging you about finding a good man and settle down before your too much older? Skip out on all family events where she’s around. See how easy that is? We run away from relationships before we are willing to put in some real work. We cut ties with those closest to us because we can’t handle their crazy. Friend, we all have crazy. Relationships take work. Put in the effort. Set up some clear boundaries with crazy Aunt Betsy, train your children to obey, pour into your marriage. Don’t run away, put in some effort. It’s always worth it.
- Relationships take time. Once you’ve committed to putting in the work to make your relationships thrive, you have to remember that they also take time. Just because you set up boundaries with crazy Aunt Betsy doesn’t mean she’s going to live up to her end of the bargain 100% of the time. While your husband may try to be home on time, he will get stuck in traffic or end up with a last minute phone call that was supposed to be quick. Cut people some slack, offer them grace and more grace and control your responses. And remember that past hurts from the people in your life aren’t going to heal overnight, even if you have forgiven the person. You will ned to continually forgive and continually give grace. But you can do it!
- The past doesn’t have to predict the future. Can people change? You bet! But will they? Well, now that one is up to them and not you. You can’t force them to change and we’ve discussed how you can’t simply walk away from everyone in your life. You need people. Keep the hope that the crazy person in your life causing drama can change. Continue to pour into them, love on them, be kind to them while not holding them to a standard of perfection or holding the past over them. There is always hope for a person to change.
- You don’t have to be a victim. When you have a crazy person in your life, one who is toxic and full of drama it’s super easy to play the victim. Maybe you can’t walk away because it’s a parent or child. We all have someone who sucks us dry emotionally. But be careful not to slip into the victim, depressed mode. Again, you don’t have to allow this person to run your life, you don’t have to let their actions dictate your emotional state. This is where you put up some boundaries to keep yourself sane and emotionally healthy. Take control over your emotional well-being.
You can’t control the people in your life, especially the crazy ones who love their drama. But if it’s causing too much emotional stress on yourself then it’s time to change yourself and your response to the situation. Start by applying these 5 truths to your crazy relationships and see where they take you. Have hope that they’ll change and work on yourself while influencing them.