Happily Married Book Club/ Helpmeet

3 Essential Steps to a Happy Marriage {Happily Married – Lesson 12}

Wishing you could have a happy marriage? But are struggling with making that happen? Here are 3 essential steps to a happy marriage.

Do you wish that you could wave a magic wand and instantly have a happy marriage? Do you wish that you could just change your spouse to be the perfect mate? Are you frustrated with the contention between you and your spouse? I expect there are many of us out there that would say, that yes, we would love to have a blueprint for a happy marriage. What we don’t realize is that we do have a blueprint to a happy marriage at our disposal.

The answer is simple: husbands and wives who love the Lord and His Word are most able to love one another (pg. 162). Do you believe that? Could it really be that simple?

We see in Proverbs 14: 1 that a wise woman builds her house. We are a vital tool that the Lord uses to build happy homes – marriages. Our attitude influences those within the walls of our home. Let’s use our influence for good.

How does our wisdom build a happy home? Again, we see that the answer is found in the Bible.

Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4  

In the final chapter of our Happily Married book club, we are going to dissect this verse for our blueprint of a happy marriage.

3 Essential Steps to a Happy Marriage

1. Wisdom

 Through wisdom is an house builded; Proverbs 24:3a

From our key verse, we see that a house is built on wisdom. This is our starting point and our most important part of our blueprint.

We have seen stories of home built near a shoreline whose foundations give up from the constant pounding of the water. When the foundation gives up, the whole house crumbles.

The same is true in our own marriage. If we want our home to be built strongly, we have to first lay down the correct foundation. And that foundation needs to be wisdom.

What is wisdom?

The Bible tells us that wisdom is so important, our entire future, happiness, and success rests on whether or not we have it. Wisdom is the divinely given ability to comprehend and apply knowledge and truth to life’s circumstances and problems, to respond to any circumstance in a way consistent with Christ’s responses. pg. 163

How do we get wisdom?

Wisdom is always the outcome of a healthy relationship to God Himself and can be attained in no other way. pg. 163

Did you catch that, it can not be received any other way? No matter how many church services you attend or how many acts of service you perform you can get wisdom apart from having a relationship with the God of the universe for yourself. When you are in His Word, spending time in prayer, worshipping at His feet then you will begin to have the wisdom that you need in our to lay a sturdy foundation for your home.

For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6  

Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. Proverbs 3:13  

 There is no wisdom nor understanding nor counsel against the LORD. Proverbs 21:30

Wishing you could have a happy marriage? But are struggling with making that happen? Here are 3 essential steps to a happy marriage.

2. Understanding

and by understanding it is established: Proverbs 24:3b

What is the next step in the construction of a house? The outside walls are built. How does help us have a happy marriage? A happy home?

It is one thing to have the head knowledge of something but if we fail to put that knowledge to work than it useless to us. Just like a foundation is useless once it’s laid unless you continue to build upon on it.

Likewise, understanding is the process by which we put our God-given wisdom to work! Once we have the deeper understanding of why God asks to do certain things or not do other things we will begin to grasp His love and direction in our lives. That what He tells us to do in His Word is for our ultimate benefit. 

The couple that trusts God’s wisdom and obeys God in the area of Biblical authority does well and will benefit from their wisdom. However, the couple that trusts and obeys God and also comprehends the reasons behind god’s instruction and the many ways it illustrates other spiritual truths does even better. They obey because it is right, but also because they understand the importance of God’s order and comprehend the love behind God’s instruction. pg. 167

God’s laws and instructions aren’t out there to make our lives miserable. He isn’t in heaven with a hammer waiting to pound us to the ground when we make a mistake. He has these instructions in place for our benefit.

Wisdom is good, but wisdom with understanding is even better. pg. 167

3. Knowledge

And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:4

Once your house is completely built, what comes next? The best part, says every woman out there! We get to decorate! We take the time to beautifully furnish each and every room. We’ve waited patiently while the house was being built and now we get to do the fun part.

In our marriage, the next step in our blueprint to a happy marriage is to make sure that our rooms are furnished with knowledge.

God has given us all the instructions that we need to live in this dark world. The Word of God is filled with all the wisdom, understanding and knowledge that we need to have a successful Christian life. But we have to choose to follow them and apply them to our lives. We have a free will. Just as we do with the color of paint that we choose to put on our walls.

God cannot make us have a relationship with Him. He cannot force us to follow His instructions.

The foolish couple will not make time for a personal relationship with the Lord in their lives or marriage. The home that is filled with the knowledge of God is a home whose every room is filled furnishing so sumptuous and beautiful that its occupants bask in comfort and delight. pg. 171

When we pursue our own goals and self-interest and turn our backs on the Lord we are not going to enjoy the benefits of a happy home or marriage. We are short changing ourselves. 

Our purpose in this life is to be like Christ and glorify Him with all that we do. Are you doing that?


You see we do have a blueprint for a happy marriage, the question are you willing to put in the work? Will seek Him and His wisdom, will understand His reasons for His instructions and will you apply that knowledge to your marriage? It takes work. But anything worth having is worth working for. Strong homes are built on strong foundations. I don’t know about you but I am ready to work harder for my marriage and do my part in applying all the wisdom from God’s Word and this book club to my marriage. Will you join me?


Your turn! Are you willing to follow God’s blueprint for a happy marriage and happy home? Which area needs the most attention in your marriage? Let’s talk in the comments below!

This post may be linked up with any of these blogs.

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  • Reply
    April 8, 2016 at 9:27 am

    Lovely post that captures the essence of what can be a beautiful marriage between a couple. Waiting for God to bring me Mr. Right but in the meantime it’s posts like this that will help me know how to maintain a loving marriage.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 10, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      Thank you, Crystal. I love hearing my posts encourage others, thanks for stopping by!

  • Reply
    Ginger Harrington
    April 12, 2016 at 11:13 pm

    Three really important gifts we bring to marriage. I’m thankful for the wisdom God gives. Understanding, wisdom, and knowledge all work together to build strong relationships. Linking with you today at #TellHisStory.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 14, 2016 at 2:10 pm

      Me too, Ginger! Thanks for stopping by from the link up!

  • Reply
    April 13, 2016 at 9:41 am

    I always underestimate the power of understanding. It’s something that I continue to work on in our marriage, as it can often be hard to see the other side of things and people’s ideas! Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    April 14, 2016 at 8:22 am

    I agree with all of this. Building a happy marriage takes a lot of work and commitment to maintain. It’s not possible without the help from God and the important tools that he gives.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 14, 2016 at 2:17 pm

      Yes, we need the Lord to be at the center of marriage if we want it to thrive.

  • Reply
    April 14, 2016 at 10:54 am

    Ana, what a beautiful post! I love Proverbs 24:3-4. It was a staple for me in my early homeschooling years. We still use it as our basis for learning today. Thanks for sharing this today at From House to Home linkup.

  • Reply
    Aimee Imbeau
    April 14, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    Yup – happy home and happy marriage require a foundation on God’s truths! I know – tried it both ways;) Only one works.
    Blessings to you, Ana, as you fight for Godly marriage and encourage us wives.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 16, 2016 at 3:13 pm

      So true, Aimee. God’s way is always the right way.

  • Reply
    Mari-Anna Stalnacke
    April 15, 2016 at 9:04 am

    Such an important topic. Thanks for writing this. One thing I would add is to ask for more love for our spouses. God is more than happy to pour out love upon love when we ask. Blessings to you and yours!

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 16, 2016 at 3:14 pm

      Love is so important but too often based on our feelings. We should still work at a happy marriage even if we feel unloved or are lacking in giving love to our spouse.

  • Reply
    Lisa notes
    April 15, 2016 at 10:49 am

    I love that wisdom, understanding, and knowledge are good not only for marital relationships but for ALL our relationships. And mixed in with lots and lots of grace. 🙂 Thanks for sharing these truths.

    • Reply
      Anastasia Safee
      April 16, 2016 at 3:16 pm

      Very true, good point. Grace is so important! Thankfully I married a very graceful man!

  • Reply
    Michele Morin
    April 15, 2016 at 11:27 am

    What a great application of this Scripture! May God grant us wisdom to know how much we need HIS wisdom!

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